I Am the World’s Worst Soccer Mom

Sunday, March 30, 2014

…and the season hasn’t even started yet.


I moonlighted as a gymnastics mom in the fall. It was totally manageable. Show up, chat with a good friend, and my husband would meet us there after work to help with crowd control. It worked well.

Unfortunately, gymnastics is not exactly the cheapest sport, and multiply that times two or three, and it adds up – fast. When Bob (who I jokingly refer to my Sugar Daddy) lost his job unexpectedly in the fall, gymnastics was the first thing to go.


Lucy played soccer once before. A practice and a game crammed into an hour on a Saturday morning with a bunch of 4 year olds running in a pack, and quickly loosing interest – laying down in the field staring up at the clouds or picking dandelions only to be revived at the sight of juice boxes and fruit snacks.

Lucy loved it, mostly. So long as it wasn’t too hot or too cold and she was in a reasonably good mood. Of course she keeps asking to play again. Weeks ago a friend recommended a budget friendly league with a vague website. I signed her up. I didn’t realize what we were in for.

We have not even been to the first practice, and I’m ready to throw in the towel. This is just all too hard – this soccer mom stuff. Giving up every Saturday morning from now until June to soccer games. Not to mention weekly practices at undetermined locations at undetermined times. I hadn’t realized the sacrifice our whole family was making.


We [finally] received our “welcome to the team” email from our coach this weekend, I groaned, audibly. Lucy is 6 – practicing twice a week at 5pm for over an hour. I guess this means twice weekly picnic dinners on the soccer field with her siblings, which isn’t such a bad thought, if we actually had warm spring weather to enjoy. Goodbye leisurely Saturday mornings – replaced by rotating game schedules.


When I received another email this afternoon alerting me the first week of practices and first game would be cancelled due to the monsoon rains over the weekend and the muddy fields, I cheered… followed by the realization that games would be rescheduled on an upcoming Sunday in addition to that week’s Saturday game. None of that excites me.

So, I’m not what you would call the ideal soccer mom. I am finding it hard to find the joy in this soccer season. I don’t love dragging everyone to the soccer field during the hardest part of the day, the disjointed dinners, or the late bedtime it causes. But when I remember this cutie on the field in her gianormous uniform… all I can do is fix a pleasing picnic for my littles and grin and cheer for my little player – whether it turns out she is engaged in the game, or picking dandelions in left field.


Goooo team!

…Oh and if you need me, I’ll be on the soccer field.


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