There’s a lot of hard around here right now…
We are in our family’s first weeks of formal homeschooling which has been a big shift in how we spent our time together, and how I spend my evenings as time is needed to prep each day’s lessons. It’s a lot of fun, a lot of work, and a lot of exhausting on top of my already fun, full, and exhausting life.
I’m in the midst of some self-examination regarding how I engage in relationships, partially in light of our new schedule.
And then, my husband, our family’s sole income provider, lost his job. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious or nervous about the future. We’ve been joking that if Bob doesn’t get a job soon, I may eat my weight in cookie dough, which is a real possibility.
I know in my heart things will be “ok”. The problem being, I’m not sure what “ok” looks like, or when we will reach it.
It’s not all bad though. There’s a richer awareness of the presence of God that comes in my struggle. I’m quicker to turn to him at my moments of impatience with my children or with myself. I’m in a place of being very aware of my need for God, not a bad thing.
I have experienced enormous gratitude for things I usually take for granted. I’m grateful our pantry is stocked with reserves for such an occasion. I’m thankful for the sale of the century on gluten-free bread. I’m grateful for the bountiful supply of toilet paper and tissues that could carry us through the winter if need be.
I’m grateful that we don’t carry a lot of debt, aside from our home mortgage. And that we have savings in place to get us through a few lean months. I’m grateful for a healthy family, and that this is a temporary season of struggle. One which we will overcome in time.
This hair-raising experience has left me relying on a Motrin and caffeine cocktail on more than one morning after a sleepless night. But I am determined that if anyone can do all of this “hard” well, we can.